Can I tell you something I'm still working on myself? I'm a recovering people pleaser.
And if you're reading this thinking, "oh good, it's not just me," then welcome to the club. We have meetings every Friday night. Except most of us say yes to other things on Friday nights, even though we'd rather be on the couch watching a movie. 🤣
You've probably heard that "no is a complete sentence" when it comes to setting boundaries. But there's something sneaky happening underneath that makes it nearly impossible for people pleasers to actually use that advice.
We think we need to justify our no. And if our reason doesn't feel "good enough," we say yes instead.
Someone asks if you're free Friday night. Your brain goes: "I want to say no because I'm exhausted, but is that a good enough reason?" So you say yes even though you want to say no.
Or someone invites you to something you actually want to do, but saying yes means asking for help. You think "I don't want to inconvenience anyone," so you say no. Then you spend the evening wishing you'd gone.
Without clear boundaries, everyone else drives your calendar instead of you. So here's how to break the cycle.
1. Buy yourself space with one sentence
"Let me check my calendar and get back to you."
When someone asks for your time (especially verbally, where most of us cave), say this. Not "let me see if I can move some things around." Just: let me check and I'll get back to you.
This buys you space to make an actual decision instead of a panic decision.
2. Figure out the full-time commitment
That 30-minute coffee date? Add 20 minutes to drive there, 20 to drive back, plus time to get ready. You're looking at 75 minutes, not 30.
Understanding the real time cost helps you see what you're actually saying yes to.
3. Check your calendar AND how you feel
Look at what your calendar is showing you. Is it physically impossible because you're out of town? Easy no. Is it technically free but your day is already packed and adding one more thing will wreck you? That matters.
Then get honest about your gut. Does it want this or dread it? If you're saying no to something you want because you're worried about inconveniencing someone else, pay attention to that.
4. Respond without justification
"I can't make it" or "No, but thanks for thinking of me."
No explanation. No apology for your very legitimate reasons.
RSVP cards don't have a section for your justification. Your response doesn't need one either.
Ready to take back your calendar?
The next time someone asks for your time, practice that one sentence. Then walk through these four steps and respond without explaining yourself.
Your time is the most valuable thing you have. Stop giving it away to avoid a moment of discomfort.
- You heard it here first!! One Notebook Challenge LIVE!
How many notebooks are you currently using? The one on your nightstand, the one in your purse, your work notebook, that meal planning journal you've used twice, plus sticky notes and voice memos everywhere. Different notebooks for different parts of your life makes sense until you can't find anything you wrote down. I lived this chaos for years!
That's why I created the One Notebook Challenge. For five days starting February 2nd, I'm teaching you the system that changed everything for me and over 30,000 other women, for FREE. I'll go live every day at 12:00 pm EST for 30 minutes on YouTube. By the end of the week, you'll have one clear place for everything.
Why You're Still Not Getting Things Done Despite All Your Productivity Tools
You've tried ClickUp. You've tried Asana. Maybe Notion, Trello, or Monday.com. You set them up, loaded everything in, felt organized for about three days, and then went right back to sticky notes and frantic Slack messages. Sound familiar? I've got good news: the tool isn't the problem. You've just been missing the system that makes the tool actually work.
In this video, I'm breaking down why your project management tool feels overwhelming instead of helpful, the critical difference between a tool and a system, three signs you have tools but no systems, and how to build repeatable processes that connect your tools to your actual calendar.
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Should You Plan Your Weekends in the Same Planner as Your Work Week?
If you work outside the home Monday through Friday, should you really be planning out your Saturdays and Sundays in the same planner as your work calendar? Or is it overkill to detail out personal time when you just want to relax on the weekends?
In this week's Weekly Buzz, I'm answering this question and explaining why centralizing everything in one place matters more than you think. You'll learn how seeing your work week and weekend together helps you make better decisions about how much to plan, how I personally plan my weekends differently depending on what happened during the week, and when to give yourself wiggle room versus when to stick to the plan.
Remember, this video is updated every Wednesday, so don’t miss it! Head to The Pink Bee app to watch now.
Friend, don’t forget—just 15 minutes of planning today can set the tone for your entire week. You’ve got the tools, you’ve got the tips, and now it’s time to take action. Let’s crush this week together!
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